Cash-less but still VERY RICH!

Some days our house run VERY LOW on cash. We're not poor, in my world, we're not. But yeah, we run out of cash. Some days I want to go out but would rather not because I've got nothing in my wallet but that's fine. We never go hungry!

A fine example was the day we had this wonderful meal. Not rich enough to dine out but still blessed to have enough money to buy shrimps and this gigantic fish from vendors carrying fresh produce all the way from La Union!

That's a yellow fin. My dad said they used to just eat this raw when he was living in San Fabian. Nothing savage about that just in case it crossed your mind. We eat sashimi raw? Right? Yellow Fin Tuna. Hmmm. I tried to fillet one of these bad boys one time and I was able to get good slices on one side but completely ruined the other half.
Grilled fish. Tasty, let me tell you. And gigantic shrimps!

This shrimp is so big, I didn't really need more. But it was so good, I couldn't help myself. (Reason why I'm overweight) Mind you, I said overweight, not obese. 

Ugh! I can't believe we're broke. But hey! Can't say I didn't enjoy our meal. Good thing too! This one lasted until dinner. The next day was pay day for me and breakfast is no problem in our house. We always have eggs, bread and milk!

I Miss You Nikolette

Happy Birthday Nikolette! I miss you everyday. I always think about you!

I regret that I didn't hug you enough; that I didn't tell you I love you enough. I always thought you were too forgiving. You saw the good in everyone while I was there warning you about trusting people. Countless times you'd come home gushing about how much you're in love. You were so happy. The little things, you always appreciated. When you cry about a simple crush, I tell you it's okay. There will be more love in the future. You're still young. That's what I kept telling you. I thought I knew more because I was older but you knew more than I did.

When you had your first kiss, you were so rattled and excited at the same time. You came home and told me all about it and I just smiled. I didn't share your enthusiasm, your excitement. I regret that. It's like somehow you knew there wasn't going to be forever in our lives so you went ahead and let yourself be happy for every small thing in the world.

I miss you. All the time. Every now and then, I'd think of you and tell myself, you would have been done in school this year. You would have been 19, 20, 21. You would have seen my son. We could be out on a beach right now! And it hurts. Every time I think about you, I feel hurt. I miss you. I try to find comfort in the thought that you're in a better place but it doesn't make me feel any better. I love you so much. I love you like a sister. Years after, I still haven't fully accepted that you're gone.

Awesome Wedding Video

I'm not yet getting married, nor do I see myself walking the aisle in the future. But because a majority of my time everyday is spent online, you won't believe the stuff I see/read/watch in the internet.

I don't even know why I watch wedding related videos but somehow I'm led that way after watching a music video by Rascal Flatts or Eva Cassidy.

Here's my favorite wedding videos! First up, some awesome couple lip syncing to The Time by Black Eyed Peas. Why I love it? Don't ask, just watch it and I swear, you'll flip! I couldn't do a flip or a somersault but I would if I could. This couple is crazy awesome!

Birthday Gift GIBI Sandals

I was so excited because I got a new pair of flats for my birthday! Which was months ago! But yes, this was a gift months ago. I'm posting it just now because I wore it for the first time today!

I was so excited because it's so pretty. The back part is orange, which I didn't take a photo of. But the colors are great! Sadly, this GIBI collection sandals doesn't make me happy at all. The overall design of the straps make it hard to walk without it falling off my foot! Boo!

I got to wear it this day because I knew there would be no walking. Rode the car, got down, sat and waiting for food!

I regret asking this pair as a birthday gift! But I still need to wear it! I don't have a lot of options when it comes to shoes. 

Jerrified

During the time I first started using Tumblr, I met this guy through a common friend. He was funny, intelligent, very witty. I love the conversation we had and I don't even remember it! Anyway, it was a drinking party when I was in college.

He drove me home and I found that a very "gentleman" kind of thing. Since it was 4 or 5 in the morning, I let him crash in my apartment. He was trying to get me to sleep with him but I said no. He asked "Are you serious?" and I said "Yes."

That was it. In my head I'm like, meehh.. Whatever.

He went to sleep and left at 8 in the morning. I knew we weren't going to talk ever again. Surprisingly, he started texting me. It became something regular but no progress. It didn't get any sweeter or we didn't move to "dating."

I started missing him every time he doesn't call or text me. I miss him when he doesn't show up during drink nights with his friends. I miss him all the time. I liked him a lot. So much, in fact. But it never happened. We remained friends for more than a year.

A year later on December 31 2011, just before midnight, I get a call. It's him. Jill! It's New Year! I love you! I'm coming over your place! Let's talk! In the happiest, most excited voice I've heard him in, he's asking me if he can come see me. 

Life's a bummer! A real bummer! Because a couple of weeks before that call, I went official with another guy! How bad is that? I mean, damn! I make bad decisions. Really bad decisions.

This guy is now going steady with a beautiful lady! He deserves a happy relationship and good thing too! I wasn't really his type, nor was he mine. I guess, I just love the conversation. The intelligent jokes and the concern he was showing me.

Heartbroken? Go shopping!

My best friend is going through a very messy break up. Oh wait, let me correct that, she's experiencing the devastating after effect of a break up. Maybe in the future I can divulge all the juicy details about her break up but as of the moment, I'm keeping mum on everything!

My opinion, my best friend's not a saint but she's the bestest friend ever! And if in the future, she gets involved in a criminal act, you can bet your butt I was there with her or helped her cover sh*t up! But, you get the point.

Heart broken, anyone? I've always thought food was a good option to turn to when you're sad but when my girlfriend went on a shopping spree after pay day, I didn't complain. I was glad she did! She bought 4 V-neck shirts, same design, different colors. She grabbed a pair of slippers, black shoes and I forgot. Anyway, due to her depressed shopping, I got a free pair of shoes! I love it! 

She should shop more often. I've been on the losing end for the past couple of months since she went on a drinking/partying spree and I can't drink. Boo! Shopping on the other hand, I'm game anytime! 

A Shot of Valium

Let me share to you how young and innocent I once was. At one point in my life I believed that I would die because of a break up. I believed that my life was over because this guy cheated on me in the worst possible ways. That time I really believed my life was going downhill. Jeez! If I could just go back and talk to my 19 year old self. *smh*

And now, at 24 years old, I'm not saying I'm wise and all-knowing. I'm just saying I'm a little smarter than I was before and as juvenile as whatever I wrote years ago sound like, that was the best way I could describe my feelings. And dude, those are real. 

Things changes over time. When I was 8, I had a crush on my classmate and I thought that was the most important thing in my life! In high school, I felt like "blending in" was the cool thing to do. So, I got drunk. A lot of times! Definitely NOT COOL.

But I guess, it's like that. Priorities change. Falling in love is not similar to having a crush on the cutest guy anymore. And if right now, my definition of falling in love is feeling sad for losing a love that was never mine, well, hell. Ain't that sad?